if you like me you must not know who I am
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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