Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
