chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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