was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
