just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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