Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
zippers are such a cool invention
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Oh god it's open bar.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
