I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
