I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
