If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
