Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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