i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
