wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
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The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
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Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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