Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
