Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
