Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
