Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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