I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
