We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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