I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
