shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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