Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
