Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
