I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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