he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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