Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I painted my nails silver

  (586): View more from Michigan

  And what are the implications of that?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien

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  (313): I painted my nails silver (586): And what are the implications of that? (313): Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien http://tfl.nu/iy32
  Replies (3) Good night (2131) Bad night (682)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.

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  (757): he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so. http://tfl.nu/ifvf
  Replies (42) Good night (7540) Bad night (708)
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  (760): View more from California

  If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.

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  (760): If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best. http://tfl.nu/ew7r
  Replies (17) Good night (4183) Bad night (793)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget

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  (231): i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget http://tfl.nu/6lyk
  Replies (15) Good night (1101) Bad night (5684)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this

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  (410): forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this http://tfl.nu/291a
  Replies (27) Good night (1092) Bad night (8254)
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  (818): View more from California

  Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.

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  (818): Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on. http://tfl.nu/cwci
  Replies (12) Good night (1033) Bad night (3466)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts

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  (314): I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts http://tfl.nu/krja
  Replies (9) Good night (1835) Bad night (622)
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  (716): View more from New York

  i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.

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  (716): i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents. http://tfl.nu/knds
  Replies (9) Good night (3619) Bad night (712)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.

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  (508): Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering. http://tfl.nu/eppe
  Replies (8) Good night (618) Bad night (1683)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood

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  (931): his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood http://tfl.nu/n403
  Replies (20) Good night (3993) Bad night (1124)
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  (818): View more from California

  I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.

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  (818): I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car. http://tfl.nu/zey7
  Replies (11) Good night (485) Bad night (1239)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.

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  (717): I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it. http://tfl.nu/i1s8
  Replies (8) Good night (1617) Bad night (619)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.

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  (801): That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels. http://tfl.nu/fhyu
  Replies (7) Good night (514) Bad night (872)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW

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  (860): NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW http://tfl.nu/dzo6
  Replies (12) Good night (1025) Bad night (331)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.

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  (708): State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted. http://tfl.nu/x7uk
  Replies (3) Good night (413) Bad night (342)

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