Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.

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  (410): it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed. http://tfl.nu/fe66
  Replies (5) Good night (800) Bad night (1458)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.

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  (916): Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life. http://tfl.nu/lqwm
  Replies (17) Good night (1248) Bad night (3497)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?

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  (406): One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts? http://tfl.nu/1591
  Replies (14) Good night (1306) Bad night (4101)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend

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  (562): she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend http://tfl.nu/ejvb
  Replies (10) Good night (3322) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was

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  (314): Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was http://tfl.nu/b9m0
  Replies (9) Good night (2406) Bad night (1011)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss

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  (412): Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss http://tfl.nu/99ou
  Replies (11) Good night (2076) Bad night (1213)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?

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  (618): This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it? http://tfl.nu/yhoj
  Replies (9) Good night (1826) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!

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  (814): My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween! http://tfl.nu/sc01
  Replies (14) Good night (2254) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.

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  (707): I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any. http://tfl.nu/bt78
  Replies (17) Good night (678) Bad night (2036)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow

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  (615): i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow http://tfl.nu/kcra
  Replies (4) Good night (357) Bad night (1209)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO

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  (619): THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO http://tfl.nu/tlry
  Replies (6) Good night (448) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.

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  (480): All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair. http://tfl.nu/6kun
  Replies (7) Good night (444) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life

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  (917): No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life http://tfl.nu/p0nl
  Replies (1) Good night (517) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.

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  (202): She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood. http://tfl.nu/9x0w
  Replies (4) Good night (838) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....

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  (618): She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook..... http://tfl.nu/g300
  Replies (6) Good night (366) Bad night (1390)

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