oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.