I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???