Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!