if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
