When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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