At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
