I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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