this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
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You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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