I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
