he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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