I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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