Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I didn't notice because vodka
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
