There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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