I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize