fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
