i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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