I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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