At least make sure they are 18
Why
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
