Tell her she can't have a vagina
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize