so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
