that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
