Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize