He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Randomize
