I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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