I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
