Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
