Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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