i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
