I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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