omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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