what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
