all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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