Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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