can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
