come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize