i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Randomize
