I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
