Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
