We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
