I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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