Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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