Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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