I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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