He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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